Truth Be Told
by BuckKitty06
Summary: Lily rants after an unfortunate incident involving a potions project gone wrong. Oh, the wonders of a truth potion. Epilogue is up! Lily writes a letter to an agony aunt expressing her concerns about James Potter.
1. Chapter 1

**Truth Be Told**

This whole predicament started because of Professor Slughorn and his mad ideas. What ever happened to a good old fashion lection based potions class? Whose idea was it to have activities? And, of all things, potion brewing?

Rude professors, that's who.

Rude professors who pair you up with grinning idiots who have, in the past, shown no regard for the rules. Grinning idiots who have previously brought you much embarrassment. Rude professors who should have known this whole ordeal would happen and went along with the pairing anyway.

And as for having us brew such a dangerous potion! I can't even begin to tell you how absolutely over the top insane that man must be to have us do something so down right…dangerous, for lack of a better word.

I mean, come on, a whole lot of damage can be done with a truth potion.

Trust me. I would know.

When I got out of bed that fateful Monday morning, I did not know that it was going to be the last day of my sane life. I did not know something horrendous was going to take place mere hours after leaving the sanctuary of the girls' dorm. Even as I entered the room, I was blissfully unaware.

Until I read the blackboard, that is.

"Truth Potions." That's all it said. That's all it needed to say. I knew at that moment that I was doomed.

Well, ok, maybe not _that_ moment.

I began to piece together the facts of my imminent demise when I was paired with Sirius Black.

Ok, so, maybe I didn't really know yet then, either.

It was more when the assignment sheets were handed out.

That was definitely it.

"1. Interview partner using questions attached.

2. Lie."

Why, do you wonder did we need to answer questions and lie about the answers? Because our professor is absolutely insane. He was going to make us drink the potion! We were going to be interrogated in front of the whole bloody class!

That is how I knew that nothing good could come of the idiotic grin on my idiotic partner's face.

Nothing but humiliation, that is. And that's only good if you're_ not_ being humiliated. Which, unfortunately for me, was not the case. I was definitely and utterly humiliated.

I grew suspicious from the moment I saw his idiotic grin. I tried to tell myself that Sirius Black always had an idiotic grin, but it didn't sooth my troubled soul. Not in the least bit.

I, being the wonderful student that I am, followed the directions for Slughorn's little truth party. Sirius asked my parents' profession and I blurted out "Mum's a florist, Dad's a landscaper" (Yeah, right. He'd never guess I was lying, though. My sister and I are named after flowers, for heavens sake.)

"What color are your knickers?"

My head snapped up from where I was doodling little designs on my parchment. "Excuse me?" His idiotic grin grew even bigger.

"Just kidding. What color is your bedroom?"

I gave him my best withering stare, which, unfortunately did not wither him. Not even the slightest, tiny, little bit. Just my luck.

We sat there like madmen and women for a moment. Him grinning like an idiot, me attempting to wither him into nothingness.

It probably would have gone on forever had I not taken control of the situation by giving in and answering his question with a reluctant, "Purple."

Several tedious questions later, it was my turn to play reporter. I dutifully asked my questions and jotted down his answers on my almost completely doodle filled parchment.

I probably wouldn't have been so compliant about the whole situation if I had good grades in divination. I mean, if I would have known what was about to happen, I definitely wouldn't have just played right into it the way I did.

Sometimes being the favorite sucks.

That's all I'm going to say.

If Slughorn hated me, I wouldn't be in this stupid, horrendous situation that I'm in today. That's all there is too it. Really.

He picked me first because he thinks I'm brilliant, or something stupid like that. Clearly, the man is mad.

He was practically dancing in his bloody seat while I drank down that blasted truth potion.

While waiting for it's horrible effects to take over my body, and mostly my tongue, he passed out copies of my answers, you know, so everyone could see what a liar I was. What fun is a truth potion without a little bit of a lie, right?

The utterly insane man instructed me to try and lie when he asked me my name. I couldn't do it. My tongue rebelled against me and spit out "Lily Evans" against my will.

He looked like he was about to burst with excitement. If I would have known then, I probably would have just run out of the classroom until I had completely control of my mouth again. He probably had top marks in divination and knew exactly what was going to happen. Why else would he be so excited?

"Go on, Black. Begin your interrogation!"

I was really starting to panic. People were turning around in their seats to look at us. They were all craning their necks to hear the words that were about to spew forth from my lips.

And I was holding my breath, waiting for the words that were about to spew forth from Black's lips. I was mortified at the thought of everyone knowing what color my knickers were! A girls' under-things shouldn't be discussed in a dungeon full of people, after all.

"Where were you born?"

What? I almost wanted to ask him to repeat himself. I thought I heard wrong. Of course, I couldn't ask him because the only thing that I could say was "London."

Everyone looked dutifully down at my answers. One point honest Lily.

"What do your parents do for a living?"

What? Was he serious? He was sticking to the script! I was beginning to feel a little more at ease as I heard myself mutter "Mum's an accountant, Dad's a bank manager."

Slughorn let out a huge bellowing laugh. "She got us all on that one! I thought for _sure_ her answer was true."

"What color is your room?"

"Yellow."

This was going to be ok! There was only one more question, after all. He couldn't botch up too badly now. Surely he wouldn't string me along for all those questions and then get me at the end.

Surely.

"Do you fancy James Potter?"

Several people in the crowd began giggling.

Oh no.

No bloody way.

What a traitor!

I trusted him!

In my head, I was screaming out "No! No you bloody moron! No I don't fancy James Potter!"

In my mouth, however…

Well, that was quite a different thing, now wasn't it?

That's the funny thing about a truth potion. You can fight it and fight it until you are blue in the face and your mouth, your own tongue and teeth and lips are still going to betray you. What you say in your head just doesn't matter.

I was already out of my seat before the word ever even started bubbling in my throat, before my vocal chords even began to vibrate. I was grabbing my things and stuffing them into my bag, fighting back that urge to open my mouth as if my very life depended on it.

That stupid grinning idiot.

That was the last thing I thought before the word slipped out of my mouth and I turned on my heel, sprinting for my life.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed. At least one more part to come (maybe two?). It really depends on of a few of my ridiculous ideas pan out. Let me know what you think!


	2. Honestly Speaking

**Honestly Speaking**

I wasn't even fully out of the classroom before the class erupted in undiluted chaos. I mean, really. Couldn't they have waited at least two more seconds for the door to shut firmly behind me?

No. Of _course_ not.

I just had to hear Sirius Bloody Black's stupidly grinning face say, "Hear that, mate? Looks like you've won her over, after all!"

Won me over? _Won me over!_

I'll tell you who's one me over. The devil, that's who. I'm willing to make a deal with the devil to bring down Sirius Grinning Black.

I'm serious.

I was so busy fuming about the whole ordeal that I didn't _know_ someone followed me out of the potions room. If, once again, I had any skill what so ever in divination, I would have known to keep running straight up to my dorm.

Unfortunately for me, I have no such skills.

Or luck, for that matter.

And, on top of that, I don't run much. Needless to say I didn't make it very far before I (unknowingly) decided that it was safe for me to stop running. That's why it was so easy for him to catch up to me.

And why the potion hadn't worn off yet.

"You alright?"

"No."

Stupid bloody git. He was _still_ smiling like an idiot!

Can you believe that?

I can.

I wanted desperately to be out of ear shot by the time he could think up some more humiliating questions to ask me while I still couldn't control my mouth.

I was almost positive the whole knickers thing was going to come up again.

As if that wasn't enough. As if I needed anymore problems thrown at me. Phase two of Project Ruin Lily's Life commenced later that evening.

All I wanted was a little peace and quiet. That's all. Why was it that my friends couldn't even leave me to shower in peace?

Oh yeah. That's right. _Because I admitted that I fancy James Potter in front of the entire Advanced Potions class!_

"If you fancy him, just tell him."

Ladies and Gentleman, my mad friend Samantha.

Does she even value the sanctity of our very special friendship a little, tiny speck?

Clearly she does not.

I asked her this, but she pretended I hadn't even opened my mouth.

"I'm just saying that you should tell him," she continued on.

I made a point of getting her wet when I snapped the shower curtain fully closed after opening it a crack to make a face at her.

"And besides," I added indignantly, "who says I fancy Potter anyway?" Of course, everyone knew after the humiliating truth potion incident. I fumed for a moment, remembering the way that my tongue defied me and spat out "James Potter" while I urged it not to move. The memory burned me more than the scalding I got from someone flushing a toilet.

That is one downfall to living in a castle like Hogwarts. The plumbing leaves a lot to be desired.

"I say you use it to your advantage." This time it was my friend Alexandra.

I chose to ignore her and instead said, "I thought you already left for dinner. Aren't you going to be late for your date with Stan from Ravenclaw?" as I turned off the shower.

Stan the Man. That's what he called himself. She thinks I make it up, but she'll eventually figure out that it is indeed the case.

While I was groping blindly for my towel, Alex simply said, "He can wait. This is more interesting anyway."

Samantha, Alexandra and I have been good friends nearly our entire time at Hogwarts, mostly because we were placed in the same house.

That was about to change. Friends? I don't need friends.

Not friends like those two idiots, anyway.

Finally dry and wrapped in my towel, I stepped out of the shower and over to the sinks where my two newly ex-friends who didn't yet know they were my ex-friends were putting on make up.

I finally gave in and asked. "How could I possibly use it to my advantage?"

Alex smiled knowingly at my reflection in the mirror. "You'll figure it out, I'm sure."

I'll figure it out? Really? That's not even really advice, is it? You can't just go around saying things like you've got a brilliant plan and then say , "oh, you'll figure it."

That's about as insane as making seventeen year olds brew and _use_ bloody truth potions!

"Thanks a bunch," I said snarkily as I walked out into our dormitory.

We were definitely not friends anymore.

I let the two of them know, but they didn't really seem to mind.

Bunch of loons, anyway.

Now, not only do I have insane non-friends, a public admitting of fancy, and a headache, I also have some vague "use it to your advantage" crap.

What does that even mean?

For the love of all that is good in the world, I wish that I could say the madness stopped there.

I think we all know it didn't.

I still had to go to dinner.

And then I had to go do patrols.

With James.

Bloody hell.

After rushing through dinner to avoid provocation from my dear, although loon-ish, non-friends, I hid in the dorm for a while contemplating all of the big questions in life?

Why me? Why was Sirius Black born? How could I kill him? Ect, ect.

I couldn't put it off anymore. It had to be done. I was Head Girl, for goodness sake. I couldn't hide in my room like a third year whose best mate just blabbed which bloke she liked. And besides, I did the blabbing myself. After a full day of purposefully avoiding one James Potter, I had to go down and see him.

Oh, why does the universe hate me? Is it because I always fudge my astronomy charts? The heavens are finally going against me for all of my faked homework and lack of understanding how to use a telescope to admire their infinite beauty.

I'm sorry, heavens. I'll try harder, I promise! I will gaze forever at your … well, infinite beauty, I guess.

I trudged down the stairs one at a time. It was reminiscent of a funeral march, honestly speaking. I had to convince my stupid legs and my stupid feet to go. I had to convince my hand to let go of the banister, and I had to convince my eyes to stay open, because, lets be honest here, the last thing I needed was to fall down the stairs and break my neck in front of James Potter.

Maybe I did need to break my neck? That would certainly solve my problems.

I panicked. I'll admit to anyone who asks. I panicked on the very last step. He was leaning against the wall reading a piece of parchment. He wasn't even _looking_ at me and I panicked.

After taking a second to talk myself down (don't worry, Lily. Everything will be ok. You will kill Sirius Black and wipe the idiotic grin off his face forever.), I proceeded to walk forward to meet him.

Apparently, the Heavens and their infinite beauty did not accept my apology.

In fact, I do believe they now have it out for me.

Did I mention that I stopped on the last step when I stopped?

That's right, I forgot I was on a step and I took a step forward.

And then I fell.

I fell straight into James Potter.

**A/N:** Next chapter will include awkward rounds, and we will finally find out what "predicament" all of this bad luck is leading up to. Exciting stuff, no?

As a side note, I was so excited to find my red swingline stapler (like the one from Office Space!) that I called my fiancé and left him a voicemail at work quoting the movie. "I…I.. I do believe…I believe you have my stap..stapler." We are so watching that movie tonight.

Enjoy your weekend!


	3. In All Actuality

"Alright, Evans?"

Oh my Jesus. Why did these things happen to me?

"I'm…I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

I couldn't think straight. I had to shut my mouth before I told him about my theory about the hateful heavens having it out for me.

Sirius' words from earlier in the day echoed in my head, _"You've won her over, mate."_ A fresh wave of anger washed over me. I pushed myself off of him and straightened my robes while I cleared my throat. I wasn't going to let him win.

"Ready, Potter?"

He looked a little confused. What had he expected? For me to launch myself at him and start snogging the life out of him the second I saw him?

If he hadn't realized, I had been avoiding him all day.

And I didn't plan on snogging him. At all. Really, I didn't.

"Always am," he said, smiling and gesturing for me to lead the way to the portrait hole.

I admit that I was suspicious. The last time I was lulled into a false sense of security, disaster struck.

And then it continued to strike for the rest of the day.

I caught Sirius Black winking at me out of the corner of my eye just before I went through the portrait hole.

As if he hadn't done enough damage for the day, it caused me to trip, yet again. Only this time Potter wasn't there to break my fall.

Instead, he caught me from behind.

"Whoa, Evans. You sure you're alright?"

NO!

"Yes. I'm fine." I pulled my arm out of his grasp and continued walking like nothing happened.

Oh, to be able to lie again.

It really was nice to know that I could control what would come out of my big mouth. I mean, I know that it is always best to tell the truth, but, honestly, lying does have its advantages.

Mainly, self preservation.

I was so lost in my thoughts of all of the marvelous lies that I could tell, and how I had never _truly_ appreciated the ability to fib, that I didn't notice we had already made it to the third floor.

Or that my brilliant plan from dinner had come back to haunt me.

What was I thinking? Why didn't someone tell me my plan was so…stupid?

Well, they didn't know what my plan was.

But they should have.

Halfway through the third floor charms corridor, it hit me.

Oh, my lord did it ever hit me.

"Alright?"

That was the first thing that either of us had said throughout our rounds. He must have seen the horrified look on my face as I realized I was only about two seconds away from peeing my pants.

No joke.

I didn't dare open my mouth, instead I gave a tight smile, nodded my head and started frantically trying to remember which loo was closer to where we were.

James nodded, but he looked skeptical. I'm sure he thought that I was thinking of ways to kill his mate.

Not that he'd be wrong. If it wasn't for Black, I wouldn't have blurted out that I fancy James Potter, I wouldn't have kept taking a drink of water every time someone tried to get a reaction out of me at dinner, and I _certainly_ wouldn't have nearly peed my seventeen year old pants in the charms corridor.

We turned a corner and it was beckoning to me. It swear, if bathrooms could have halos, this one would.

Except, wait a second. We were on the wrong end of the bloody corridor. This was the boys' bathroom! Oh, how could my day possibly get any worse?

I mean, I had a choice to make.

Ask James to guard the door while I relieved myself.

Pee all over the corridor.

I know. I shouldn't have had to think about that one, but I did. Finally I spoke up.

"Er…James?" I asked. He turned toward me and I think that he looked a little hopeful. Like maybe I was going to ask him to snog me senseless.

"Yeah?"

Oh, bloody hell.

"Will you watch the door? I may pee myself." I'm pretty sure I said it as one word, though.

I watched his eyebrows knitting in confusion as he tried to work out what I said, and I could feel my face redden with embarrassment.

It was one thing to blurt out that you liked a guy, it was another to ask him to stand guard so you could go to the bathroom.

Whatever it was he thought I was going to ask him, that certainly wasn't it. I tried to look at him while I tried to explain my situation. I mean, really, if someone tells you they're going to pee their pants, why ask so many questions?

I took a deep breath. "It's really sort of turning into an emergency."

He still didn't say anything at first. "An emergency? What's an emergency?"

Was he kidding or just dense? What the hell did blokes do in the loo?

I don't really want to know, honest.

"I really, really, need to use the loo. This is the boy's room. Please just stand guard for me. I'd really appreciate it."

Oh, god. If I wasn't too busy trying not to look like a completely lunatic while I walked into the bathroom with my legs practically crossed, I probably would have hugged him right then and there.

And then pissed all over the both of us.

Which is why it's a good thing I choose option A.

In an ideal word, there would be no Sirius Black, or options A or B.

We don't live in an ideal word, however, and while I did my crazy half run, half walk, half undressing in the hallway, I nearly had an aneurism from embarrassment when I heard James say, "Christ, Lily. Maybe you shouldn't have drank so much water at dinner. I think the lake's run dry."

He then proceeded to laugh at me.

Surely, the water we drink couldn't come from that grimy lake? Why was I even thinking about that. Forcing myself to concentrate on the matter at hand, I muttered something along the lines of, "Yeah, well. I turned dinner into a drinking game."

A drinking game? With water? Was my brain on vacation?

James surely had the same thought because he looked at me a little oddly when I returned and asked, "If you intended to get drunk, why did you drink water?"

"Wishful thinking?"

What was I even talking about? I didn't want to get drunk. Although, now that it seemed to be an option, it was looking pretty good.

"I figured I couldn't react to anyone teasing me if I was taking a drink."

"Lots of people teasing you, eh?"

Like you don't know.

He was starting to remind me of Sirius, which, I have to say, was not good for him considering the thoughts that were running through my head through out the conversation. I was running through the halls of Hogwarts with Sirius Black's grinning head on a stick.

It was all very medieval.

I think he could read my mind, because he said, "I'm sorry. About Sirius, I mean. He's a prat."

He's a prat? That's all he had to say about him. I could think of about ten other things to call him.

I just raised my eyebrows. "As if you didn't have anything to do with that brilliant plan."

"No, really. I didn't. I'm not really to happy with him right now."

Lies, all lies!

"Really." I was skeptical. Very, very skeptical. The me in my head waved Sirius' head on a stick at me to keep me from falling for his lies.

"Yes!" he sounded exasperated. "I can't believe you think I would actually do that."

Lies. Lies. Lies. _Lies!_

"And besides. I didn't want to find you that you fancy me in a dungeon full of people snickering when you had that horrified look on your face."

I pretended that I didn't hear him.

"It was pretty funny, really. You're face I mean. You looked like you were waiting for someone to rip a piece of spello-tape off your arm."

"Or to just rip my arm off." I added, and then slapped a hand over my mouth. What happened to my plan to stay silent? Where did that plan go?

It went out the window, that's where.

James laughed at me. "Come on. Don't you think it's a little bit funny?"

NO!

"Maybe I'll be able to laugh about this when I'm old and senile, surrounded by my loving and understanding cats."

"You don't strike me as that type. You might as well mope about for a week, and then go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend and laugh about it then."

No!

Did he drug me? Is that what happened? It felt like an instant replay of my burning humiliation earlier that very day.

Why, heavens, why do you hate me so? I will gaze lovingly up at you for the rest of my life, even when it's raining! And the raindrops are in my eyes and it hurts to keep them open!

Why did I blush? Why did I have to turn as red as a stupid ripe tomato and get all flustered. It was like I was under that stupid potion again. My tongue wouldn't work! It wouldn't say anything! It just flopped around my mouth making me look like a complete and utter moron while my face turned red and my feet shuffled around and my hands practically broke themselves wringing together.

My brain was screaming_ Just say no! Don't do it! Resist!_ But my stupid neck had other ideas when it began to nod my head up and down.

My tongue wouldn't work, but apparently, James took my awkward, jerky motions with my head to mean yes. I realized too late that I had just agreed to a date with James Potter.

I also realized too late that he intended to kiss me.

I hate Sirius Black.

Once I kill him, it won't matter that I stupidly agreed to go on a date with James Potter the very day that I was tricked into admitting that I fancy him. It won't matter that I had to ask him to watch the door while I tried not to pee my pants. And in all actually, it won't matter that I allowed him to kiss me and spin me around the corridor.

But, alas, Black is a slippery fellow, and I still haven't quite managed to get my hands on him, or his neck. So here I am over a week later, contemplating this entirely ridiculous situation while I frantically try and find something to wear to Hogsmeade that says, "I fancy you, and I hate your best mate. For our second date, let's kill him."

Second date? Oh, Merlin, how does my feverish brain get so carried away? One predicament at a time, please.

**A/N:** Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last two chapters. You're so kind. There's only one chapter left! Gasp! I feel like I should tell you that it's in a different format than the other three chapters. This is because this was the end of the story, and then there was going to be a companion piece. I decided, though, to just make it the final chapter here, and keep the format that it was originally intended to be in.

Hope you enjoyed!


	4. Dear Agony Aunt Epilogue

Dear Agony Aunt,

Oy, where to begin? I suppose I'll begin at the beginning, eh? I had a date (which I don't fully remember agreeing to) with a boy (who has fancied me for years) that I accidentally admitted to fancying (I was tricked by his best mate under the influence of a truth potion) just a few days ago. Now, Agony –can I call you that?—I know you're thinking "Well, that doesn't sound so bad!" but it is bad. It is so, so bad.

Actually, it's worse than all that. If it wasn't, why would I be writing to you, Agony?

To fully grasp the severity of the situation, you need to understand a few things. I wasn't even sure I wanted to go on this date, but my stupid brain nodded my head and agreed to it. I couldn't very well back out! Especially after he practically suffocated me snogging me for joy. That's right. After I accidentally accepted his invitation to Hogsmeade, he kissed me! He did apologize for it immediately after, but still. Who does that? Excited people, that's who.

I spent the next week in a daze. I couldn't quite come to terms with what I had done, you see. It was very out of character for me to actually agree to go on a date with James Potter. You see, we have a very long history of animosity, so imagine my surprise when I find myself fancying him just because he's all grown up and turned Head Boy.

I had come to terms with fancying him, though. It wasn't the end of the world, and I certainly wasn't the first witch to fall into his charm. I figured I would fancy him from afar. A bit like window shopping, actually. You know how that goes, Agony. You stand outside and look in and imagine what it would be like to have that jumper. You also know, Agony, that if you break down and buy the jumper, it's never as good as you imagined it to be.

I was perfectly content standing outside the shop and gazing in, imaging what my life would be like if I went ahead and bought the jumper, I mean, James. Er…well, I mean dating, not buying. Do you get my metaphor? I'm sure you do, you're a smart woman, Agony, otherwise, why the hell would everyone write to you?

I'm a bit off topic, I'm afraid. My problem wasn't fancying James Potter, and it wasn't even really accepting the date. My troubles _are_ the date.

For you to be fully able to assist me, I suppose I need to tell you what happened on the date. It is really quite normal. It was Hogsmeade, for heaven's sake. What do you expect us to do? We ate lunch while the entire student body, third year and over, gawked at the sight of us sitting together.

And then we roamed the streets for a bit, nipped into the candy shop where he bought me some ice mice, which are my favorite. And then he bought me a quill, as he knows that my love of all things that are remotely related to stationary and school supplies. I do love those notes that follow you around when you're forgetting something.

Nothing went horribly wrong. I didn't have an allergic reaction that resulted in my face swelling to the size of a…well…a very large face (this has happened in the past, you know.). I didn't say too many stupid things, and I didn't feel like kicking him in the shins once (I used to get that compulsion quite often, actually. I acted on it once and broke my baby toe on my left foot. It was really more pain than it was worth, I'm afraid.).

I guess the real problem, Agony, is that, well, I enjoyed myself. There, I said it! I enjoyed my date with James Potter. I've gone and bought that jumper and now I'm just waiting for it to shrink, or to get a bit of sauce on it that will never come out.

Do you think there's a return policy?

Probably not once you've already agreed to a second date. With James, I mean. Not the jumper.

Agony, I need you to tell me straight…

You don't think that I could possibly…well…I'm not in…You don't think I'll fall in _love_ with this prat, do you?

Oh Merlin's big toe, I hope not.

Lots of Love (For you! Not for James! Or the metaphorical jumper!),

Lily Evans

**A/N**: I know, I know. This is a bit over due, but it's here now! And that, my friends, is the end of the road for this story. It's been a blast, and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I have! Thank you for everyone who reviewed/favorite/alerted this story! You're so very kind :)


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